I have to struggle so hard to strike the chord of balance. I do lots to be the controller, the dictator, the make-things-work-wonder machine. And it’s all in my breath, my routine. I am a hyper busy-body with so much to do. And to never smile to bring back life’s melody, I have to admit to you. I feel I have done things worth the penny but then I also think that I have lost precious treasures in my life, not only my granny, my best pal Melanie’s company and my Ariel, like sweet sugar, a pet cockatiel and seriously this thought is not at all funny. I think I have lost my sense of happiness, humor, the sense to be friendlier and that old sense to produce my cute style-n-smile files. Oh, I wonder, what has happened in these five drastic years? How have I changed so much that it hurts in my belly? I am a new me, not in awe of self totally. Half sadly and half gladly I have taken the role of a perfectionist. Sandra says, you see what is invisible to others and you can not stop your heart to make things less than outstanding. Billie, my mentor, and the foremost perfection-machine is ‘all praise’ for me. Recently I have been promoted and have become the center of appreciation and attraction, seeing some real highs of life from one and all. But my soul says, you, Menee, have not been what you were expected to be, you have taken the plunge, the fall. The winds are stronger today, the times don’t seem to pass. I see that it’s getting cloud loaded and my flowers seem to be turning pale. Someone is telling the falling rains that they want to find the other Menee, the real one, their true friend, one who was special with her innocence, beaming smile, friendly spirits, with the be-merry-don’t-be-sorry attitude. That force is saying, come on Menee, set yourself free. Don’t lie trapped in the shackles of man-made boundaries stopping you from becoming your true self, finding your dream and being the beauty of this life. Suddenly I am bewitched with the thoughts and I too wish, I was the old Menee again. One who laughed at all the poor jokes, danced like a jester on all no-dance music and one who was always there for everyone, for life. I too want to end this transition period which my soul does not approve. I want to get in grooves of life, spread some beauty around and be nice. I want to be a commoner and learner and I want to go wrong. I want to feel the true flow and meaning of life not always influenced by perfections. With some touch of imperfection, I want to shine, fly high, paint life all pinks and purples and be a genuinely beautiful person, the best of God’s creations. Perfection is a static zone, its the end of adventures. Do strive for it but don’t be overwhelmed by it too much. With that boyish, hanky-panky attitude, that short crop of hair, the naked face looks or that natural smile, so naughty and sweet, you are the beauty of life.