All That Is, All That Was

A piece on the contrast picture of life, once when you are in love and when you are out and then how you choose your final destination which may not be anywhere on earth, near life to feel at ease.

It’s moving, yes, life is. It may bring blisters or bliss. But it keeps on inching ahead. You would better jump in the movement or be counted dead. Now, what with the choices given, you better do what you should. Life brings many puzzles and questions thrown at us randomly, some of which seem to be more complicated than we can handle with our active senses. And some are surely just very much welcome with their true worths. But you still wonder about all the golden sunshine, that used to pour on your face when he looked down to smile at you. You recall how the daisies used to wink at you telling you that your love was a wonder. Times were perfect with rainbow-colored mornings giving you the bright, beautiful blessings of this world and God. You had thought you were such a damn lucky girl. Days passed fine and colorful and you and he were lost in a golden paradise. Your love story was a rosy affair with glories and glitter. But sadly the seeming-to-be-real-time fantasy and everything in it proved to be a decent deceit story. In a minute, all the colors faded. Darkness loomed large and dangerous. He left you torn and devastated. You could though never sense his hatred. All that was, struck in stark contrast to all that is now. You suddenly were a nobody now in life’s pompous show. You said,’ why did you go, Max when you were meant for me? I loved you so madly. Didn’t the breeze stop you or the tulips whisper in your ears, oh love, don’t go? Didn’t the singing cockateel on that banyan tree warn you that you were doing a mistake? Why did you do what you did? Wasn’t I your only lifeline, your only treasure? You could have just pointed at my mistakes and I could have had them rectified by any means. Why did you have to choose the dreary path and leave the greens? It’s so torturous to believe we were not meant for each other. All that was, turned into a dream which never came true. But still, you could not stop loving him. All that is now with you is a dead soul trying to accept it hard. You don’t know if you will have the power to smile again. Your life has never been a dream come true, has always been a crazy, rough terrain. You have tasted the poison of life many times. And this time too, you wonder, why have you braved existence despite being gone for good a long time ago. Maybe you have been an intriguing subject of a soul-threatening experiment by the dark forces. They see lots of damned potential in you. But o lord, now you want to stretch free. You don’t see, feel sense and think anymore. You may wonder who or what you are? You have lost definitions to describe yourself and place them in any category. You are just so sorry. You say thus,” let me take the plunge today and say goodbye. I still though have doubts uncleared and questions unanswered. I have my what, where’s and whys. I want a favor though from life. Wipe me clean, once and for all. So that I don’t see worst and feel broken a million times. I want to end my curse on me, it’s my existence. I want to donate all of myself, so sad and luckless and give all its if-remaining worth to someone good and blessed. Once all that there was of me was beautiful. All that is now is more so. That because, I am now free, happy, without having to be alive and have dreams and I know when I will be en route to my destination, I will feel fine. My destination is arriving. Thank you, God, because it’s a place so peaceful, without you, Max, without pain and without true lies. It’s somewhere between the earth and the sky and I wish I feel better there without life, you and that tingling feeling, sometimes sweet, sometimes mysterious, called love. Wish me luck”.

Life has to move on, so do I.So don’t lay the blame on me.

Published by ambikajha

I am Ambika Jha.I like to write on different topics.I feel life is too short for anything.So let us work our best in the given time and let life's music be in rhythm and rhyme.So be your best and never stop to learn and write.

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