This crazy date thing: Why do we tend to date the same guy, get caught in a vicious circle

In the path of life, people are in search of like-mindedness and things they can identify themselves with. Everyone wants to feel comfortable in their shoes whether they are standing in the middle of a desert or hanging from a cliff. Most parts of our lives are spent searching for and discovering the things we love. People want to feel good with their partners irrespective of their caste, creed, religion, or any stupid man-made criteria. They just like the company which will give them happiness, make them feel good and give them a purpose for life too, by firstly being a true friend. According to a study, people typically date a certain kind of person and keep circling that type only regardless of the circumstance. 

It was analyzed from data of 332 participants who rated themselves and their partners on a series of personality statements based on the following traits: agreeableness, conscientiousness, neuroticism, openness to experience, and it was found that they didn’t want to try something new as they thought it could be risky and stressful and they gelled better with people having known or similar qualities thus not stepping into alien areas.

Why do we try to date the same kind of person?

It has been found by research that the human instinct tries to seek out patterns and operates according to them. When we are operating with old, familiar patterns we don’t need to think about what we’re doing. Our bodies and minds are wired to do similar things without having to think about them. It helps the mind to destress. This way can be good for buying groceries but this mental shortcut cannot be a proper choice to be applied to relationship matters.

If we talk about dating and romantic relationships we talk about a type. One falls for a person having a specific trait liked by the other. It is not always just a matter of taste or coincidence, some scientific and psychological components that can contribute to our likings. We may try to circle people with characteristics identifiable with us but it may not be necessarily right for us. But still, we want to play safe and don’t want any new weird thing to come up which will give us unwanted pressure making our lives hellish and challenging our patience.

The one thing which a person should try to find in his partner is whether he/she makes them feel good or not. Women go after guys with the same attributes because of emotional issues going on in their heads and their visualization of the best qualities suiting their choices and requirements too in the present situation. These are some reasons why women keep returning to Mr. Wrong:-

  • They are hooked-Women are a sucker for their partner’s sweet, little lies. The cheesy guy is always able to make a beautiful fool out of his partner by complimenting and offering precious gifts and winning their trust and making them involved emotionally in their lives.
  • Fake personality charms-Most of the good looking guys try to impress the girls with their charms but don’t have a long-term relationship scene in mind. These guys are fun to hang out with but make the worst long-term partner. So one should not fall for guys randomly on their superficial qualities. They must try to find his inner qualities and see whether they have compatibility issues between them.

Women want to right the wrongs

Women try to date guys similar to their exes because they want to relive the moments which went wrong with their exes and make them right with the present guy and the relationship. They want to find their happy selves which got lost somewhere in the past relationship and they want to make it come back as a beautiful reality in the present relationship. 

Love is a beautiful thing to happen between two individuals. But care should be taken to make sure it is sustainable and based on reality grounds.

Women are tender beings who have a limit to taking things in their strides and they can’t just handle a lot of pressure. They try to date the same guys because it takes a tremendous amount of inner work to break the patterns. But as is said change is the next best beautiful constant. And it should be applied to every aspect of life too. Women should try to change their choices and try something new. They must have learned a great deal from their past hookups but it is not required to keep sticking to them feeling guilty for things that went wrong in those relationships. Instead, one should move on, become more realistic, and able to connect with a new guy who may be a real gem, who knows and they would then feel thankful that they made the right choice. By letting the past go and welcoming the bright and beautiful future.

Published by ambikajha

I am Ambika Jha.I like to write on different topics.I feel life is too short for anything.So let us work our best in the given time and let life's music be in rhythm and rhyme.So be your best and never stop to learn and write.

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